Lazy Days??

After a sluggish start of getting out of bed around 10am dazed confused and still slightly sniffly, I gradually got into the swing of things washing cat dishes, emptying litter trays and seeing the cats in the pens. It felt a bit of a weird, zombiefied couple of hours.
Made a nice vegetable omlette with salad which I shared with mum whilst watching the news, we debated rising rail costs and the Governments intention to raise the driving test age/requirements - we both agreed that rising rail costs would increase the need to drive and also put off people who are travelling regularly long distance and can't get very many connections.

Oh god this is so dull!! Lazy days......don't let them get you down as Robbie Williams sang in his song 'Lazy Days' I haven't really done alot of exercise with my cold so my face looks like dot to dot playground in places (!)
I must have been a little bored as I agreed to go to Goole and look at the bathroom panels etc for the en suite with Mum (woohoo how exciting) go to Tescos (wow!!) and order my Topycycline (posh word for zap those zits lotion!) Yep, so its been an amazing day. Hence why I've been a bit fed up writing this entry and rather sluggish in my humour/witticisms, Its like sexing up a battered Metro with My Little Pony Stickers. I'm doing the best of a bad job.

Its been a strange day of doing very little but also a contemplative day, thinking how lucky I am and the opportunities that lies ahead. Both Mums sisters have had a bad day - My Uncle's Uncle recently passed away and despite not being in the best of health he had a decent tranquil life up in the highlands of Scotland, but its hit my Uncle Iain hard. So my Auntie is reluctant to confront him about her troubles and is going to wait until a more convenient time. But lets face it, when does life slot into neat little drawers? Is there ever a right or wrong moment for bad news??? Talking of which Mums other sister has had to have her cat put to sleep, a very sweet disabled old cat that she's had for years. As she has no children, its been like watching her furry baby die. Mum, Dad and I were saying just before midnight we hope 2007 is a better one than the "crap one we've left behind" to quote my father. I'm not so sure on current evidence. But there's no time to sit and dawdle and be morose about things I personally cannot change. As Mum said on the phone to Auntie Sandra, we can only just be there for her and offer our support theres little else we can do (re my other Auntie) The weird thing is Uncle Iain isn't speaking to his family but theyre not daft and are coming up anyway to see Alison as they are concerned about her. So hopefully they will listen to her more and help her make the right choice for her. Its a New Year we have to wipe the slate clean and bury the past but if we can't do that then every time theres a funeral or a bad moment it just reminds us of that low point, which is why I think another death in the family has hit Uncle Iain so hard. He's a proud, insular man, who doesn't really get particularly emotional or offer his emotions, even in extreme circumstances, he just bottles it and bottles it and makes himself ill physically and mentally in the process. Of course Alison has got a job and made a bold effort to change her life and make things brighter, but if others around her don't share her enthusiasm for life then suddenly all that effort goes to waste and you get dragged back down again...
Janine isn't very happy at the moment, she believes she has "no chance" of a job, has applied for work placements, paid jobs, gone to the job centre, done courses, but is frequently ignored or told she "doesn't have the relevant experience" or "not enough experience" I suggested a few things but got shot down each time with a tirade of you'll get a job I won't I'm no good I haven't got an honours degree you have... she's in a low place at the moment. But like with Auntie Alison etc all you can do is be there for them and offer advice when they want it but not push them any further to the edge than they already are. I think she feels an inferiority complex because shes not been brought up by her parents, she has dyspraxia and there are so limited opportunities of an ambitious nature in her area anyway.. she wants to move out but that might not solve anything, with her condition if she goes somewhere new she might have even more panic attacks, she won't know anyone but sometimes a fresh challenge is whats needed when life is getting very stale. She did however inspire me to email my CV to the holdthefrontpage.co.uk website and the Doncaster Free Press just out of curiosity.
At least I have French, Adult Education, the Volunteers course next month and the ongoing RSPCA work to keep me busy. None of it is paid work but it keeps me positive and active and amongst people. Janine doesn't go to the pub with anyone, go shopping with anyone, she just goes on the internet, goes for walks, watches tv and lives a very much hermit-like existence out of fear and self-loathing half the time. its a real pity we aren't nearer to each other I'd make her meet up with my friends and sometimes you have to do things youre not sure of or unhappy about because you might end up enjoying them or making yourself a better more rounder person for the experience.
Okay lets be more positive now, had a very lighthearted evening exercising my grey matter and lightning fingers on the Buzz game kicking Mum (and Dads) bum (not literally I hasten to add!) and laughing like a panto baddie at Dad being blown up on 'Pass the Bomb' (Simple pleasures...) watched bits of Corrie in between (sad muppet or what, I must have been bored! this cold is playing with my mind obviously!) Grandad and Grandma are coming tomorrow so I don't think I'll get much time to Blog apart from the odd entry here and there, theres mince pies to be made, soups, a late xmas dinner, chocolate cake for Stu's birthday at the weekend....busy busy, just how I like it and also the cats are getting photographed by the Goole Times so its all hands on deck from now on..

Out With the Old In With the New....

I've rooted out the used pages in my notebooks so I can see clearly when I'm writing up my French notes, typed up the most recent pages of French, organised my folder, stripped my bed...my God I've been quite organised for once! Perhaps I'm turning over a new leaf?!
On a more poignant note, I watched as Mum and Dad buried Scamp's ashes in the corner of the garden where he used to run off into the fields. I couldn't help but feel choked, but also deep down, there was a sense of having to do it, say a last goodbye and feel that its now onwards and upwards. No more depressing thoughts. No more funerals, no more feeling sorry for oneself, no more "I'll do that tomorrow" or "maybe/if/when" Just do it guys........like Nick Knowles said on the BBC broadcast of the New Year, whatever it is just do something, do something special this year, now is the time to do it. Mum commented its all about being alive and doing something amazing and celebrating that you're still around. I think its great that Debbie, Nana's carer, allowed her son to go to Trafalgar Square with mates to watch the fireworks. Sometimes you only get one chance and you certainly only get one life, so whatever it is that you've been putting off or longing to do, no matter how mad, obscure or far fetched, reach for the stars guys! The world's your oyster if you just open the shell wide enough...

Spookily enough, a few moments after I had written this we debated about my Auntie's relationship with her husband. I'd rung to wish them Happy New Year and it turned out she was thinking about leaving him. Things haven't been going to swimmingly for a while, theres been more than a few rocky moments and she's been increasingly left with her head just above water swimming against a tide of sharks in the form of bereavement, lack of support, children in crises of one kind of another.....so it was in some ways not a surprise to hear his act of going off to watch the birds and not even notifying her or offering to take Auntie with him, was the straw that broke the camels back. Theyd had a lovely Christmas with us but he hardly ever spoke and certainly not to my Auntie. He can be a nice guy,but a difficult person to get to know or fathom out. Mum and Dad may have their fall outs but they will spend time together, like today, talking about the plans for the house, both equally mucking in with the gardening work outside, basically communicating. Something the latter couple don't do and haven't done for a while.. Very sad. But she got together with him very young, got married and had a child in quick succession and only got a job after her daughter died as she'd been caring for her and the other children for much of her married life. I don't know whats going to happen but as Mum said, she's young enough (early forties) to make changes in her life and not put up with her 'lot'...

On a more cheerful note, the rest of the day was spent buzzing quicker than you could say 'Buzz', kicking Dad, Mum and Stu's butts harder than Victoria Beckham to David Beckham upon finding he'd been playing away with yet another Spanish senorita..(lol!!) it was fun but I am getting scarily addicted......thats the only trouble with the PS2 once you've started you can't stop! But it wasn't all rest and play, I did do some work as well in the afternoon, went to see Merry and Pippin, the two shy cats, in the pens, made cups of tea and coffee then of course the football bug bit and I chatted to Dad about footy with one eye on the Soccer Saturday scores.. watched Man U vs Newcastle - good entertaining match for the neutral but I was momentarily distracted by the sight of Smithy's megawatt smile and the newly darkened hair minus-bleach. mMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm *oooh behave!!!* Yes ahem where were we...... cue lots of texts about that (sad muppet)

Nothing much else interesting happened for the rest of the day, Stu turned up a couple of times as I fleetingly mentioned earlier, I helped shift books and odd bits of furniture from room to room Mum was having yet another pre-Spring clean (Anthea Turner would be proud - bleurrrgh!!!) helped her make a 21st birthday for Stuart (ahhh bless - again, bleurrrgh!) then spent the evening watching Robin Hood with Dad (boo hiss how boring Marian's not dead! lol@me Darren Fletcher looked so pleased..oops no sorry I mean Robin Hood - he does look like him, except Fletcher robs the fans of their hard earned money in return for useless inept displays - don't take my word for it, ask the authority on this one, namely my Dad "he's bloody useless!!!!!" he said today..) What else, erm.....Vicar of Dibley was hilarious, if a not particularly skinny but very funny and endearing mad lady vicar can marry a sexy annoyingly but endearingly smiley accountant then theres hope for us all!!! I was really choked by it. Even if she did look stupid in pyjamas and practically everything went wrong except the 'I do' bit, it made me think come on guys, sometimes it doesn't take perfection or the most beautiful dress or the most cringeworthy speech to make a truly memorable moment. Sometimes its what goes wrong or the most ridiculous, silly moments, that make things more special and endearing. End of Sermon... P.S I loved the bit at the end where Harry explained Geraldines joke to fruitcake Alice and she got it. Ha ha ha...
Until next time people.