Since I last blogged I've almost lost my marbles being snowed under with work, had a brief Christmas break with family in Dorset, taken in the sights of London for a weekend break (The National Art Gallery, Nelson's Column, Covent Garden street performers, a fantastic Rowan Atkinson as Fagin in Oliver, a rousing version of Joseph - Dean Collinson's Pharoah is fab..indulged in Selfridges, Fortnum and Masons..I could go on!!) A whistle stop tour of London watching Chelski vs Hull (tiring but very entertaining! No wonder Big Phil got sacked...threw everything but the kitchen sink at the game at the death and nothing was happening..tsk!) rounded off with Grandad and Grandma staying for a few days this week.
It's been crazy. In a nutshell. But as I often say, I'd rather be busy than bored. The last month or so has has made me reflect, as has today, looking around my room with my grandparents showing them my photographs, memorabilia and general bits and pieces. Life might not be perfect but I've come a long way and I have so much more yet to give. Having had good feedback from Uni regarding observations and assignments and support from the learners, has boosted my confidence in recent weeks. I can do this, I can step up and challenge myself further.
The only negatives of this surge in confidence has been the realisation that I need to make some sweeping changes. At the time they may seem painful, but long term, it's for the best. For some weeks a friend of mine has leaned quite heavily on me for support and guidance, partly because she has no one else to turn to and mainly because I have allowed her to. Her dyspraxia has obviously meant I've had to tread with caution and attempt to provide a sympathetic ear when with anyone else, I probably should have administered tough love. On the other hand, she has listened to me alot and been there when I needed her, telling it like it is.
But sometimes, like all relationships and indeed in this case, good friendships, you have to let go and start afresh. Joining facebook and getting back in touch with an old school friend through my brother going on casual dates with her, hit the nail on the head. I needed to get out more, explore, stretch myself. I couldn't go on torturing myself just because my friend didn't have a job, felt even more negative about her lack of love life than I did and despite my best efforts, didn't seem to take any advice she asked for. So after a bit of a tense exchange a couple of nights ago, it was mutually agreed we should just let each other do whatever we want to do for a bit and see what happens. We are two different people. Whatever, I say, we seem to be going around in circles with regards to certain issues and it just wasn't helping things. It's funny how today I woke up feeling refreshed and I've got so much more done. She is and will always be one of my closest friends but I think it is good to freshen things up before it gets all stale and bitter.
On a positive note, I have been getting to know Miles, a Newcastle based journalist who reports on Newcastle United, enjoying banter about Leeds and Smudger. I don't see him as a romantic interest but it's just good to have a likeminded, educated soul to talk to. Of course, it helps that he quite likes Smudger as well. I am hoping, with regards to Mr Smith, now my friend is in the background a little more, I will manage to garner the courage to either go to a game or get the communication lines going again in some way. The only way is up!!! :-)
