Will The Real Leeds United Stand Up?

Warnock must surely be skating on thin ice with an inconsistent team, a threadbare bench and a midfield presumed missing in action. If the Forest result wasn't embarrassing enough we were consistently outplayed and outclassed by a City team steaming ahead towards a return to the Premiership. Perhaps Warnock's managerial style is a bit of a throwback that should perhaps stay in the past, there are moments when I am haunted by the ghosts of League One campaigns past with the hoof it and hope, clodhopper, battering ram no style and certainly no substance long ball tactics. The proof will be in the pudding come January when new signings come in, how will Nutty Neil react? What impression will Haigh and Patel give when they prise open the war chest? Something has to change, and fast. One minute we have heart, courage and passion against Chelsea, the next we look like nobodies against Nottingham, then Hull sink us good and proper. We need a rescue party asap!

New Year, New Cheer?

Warnock's lost the plot says she
What's the betting Haigh and Patel are going to be busy bees
Neil's sweating by the phone dreading that call
Meanwhile our promotion hopes are hitting the wall
Austin got rushed back
Passion the team doesn't lack
Have you got all day to dissect what's missing?
The sack race clock is ticking

Byram may be the future but he's poor in the present
Like so many he blows hot and cold
I don't really know what the regular Leeds side should look like truth be told
We are here there and everywhere
The frailties of our squad have been laid bare
If Luciano goes to the Codheads I am sunk
Come on Haigh and Patel make my day punk!

Get that cheque book out
Give our ailing chances some clout
Somma has offered hope in the gloom
But why was he starting so soon?
McCormack's mind may be floating elsewhere
Meanwhile at the score board I squint, then sulkily stare
Will the real Leeds United stand up?
Recapture heroics in the cup
Soak up the magic of the crowd
Regalvanise a team of which to be proud..

Remembering Gary

Reach out to your friends in white yellow and blue
Think positive in all that you say and do
Call that old pal, make your mum a brew

Tomorrow may be too late to get it off your chest
Lay the ghosts of the past to rest
You can come through this test

We may wonder why we are still here
We can shed a tear
Or perhaps share a consolatory beer

But take a moment to think
Life can end as quickly as one can blink
Provide that missing link

Of love, laughter and support
We may have thought
That gentle Gary "wasn't the sort"

Our hearts hit the floor..
He had everything and more
But who knows what was eating away at the core

The pain, resentment and burning questions are still sore
We all remember where we stood
Now we stand together for the greater good
Marching on Together in tears sweat and blood

Not So Mighty Whites.. More Like White Sh... :(

Dodgy Dealings
A harsh red
But Varney was stupid..it has to be said!

The squad is threadbare
Warnock's squad needs more than elastoplast to repair

A cherished club in disarray
No one quite sure whether this takeover'sjust hearsay

Beastly Bad Banker/Santa Bates seemingly on the out
Prospective new owners reluctant to give clout

To a transfer spree
Not hard to see

Why the 'moronic' masses are voting with their feet
The floundering football doesn't have you on the edge of your seat

Same old rusty route one
Yet hang on..there's no need for a Warnock out ding dong!

Little to work with littleto cheer
Lets keep calm and have another beer..

Every cloud has a silver lining somewhere
You can't say Nutty Neil doesn't care

Poleon and co need to come back
Instill a sense of attack

Defence needs a brutish backbone
Come on somebody get on that phone!

So...takeover..deal or no deal?!
If there's no action soon a relegation battle could be real......

Don't Mention The Score...

The Leeds Lament

A harsh sending off
Had us under the cosh
Lack of options exposed need for dosh...
Wasted opportunities galore
Whilst the defensive wound was still sore
Watford took advantage to come back for more
Rodolph Austin's injury sickened us all to the core..confidence hit the floor...

Squabbles over a takeover cannot hide
The way in which Watford sliced open our side
Yet I don't totally condemn Warnock for the shocking slide
Thread bare on the bench
Still lingering in the air a foul stench
Of skulduggery and stealth from Bates tent
No doubt about his intent..

To stick around to see his Cheatski shoot us down
He won't yet be leaving town
Until he bleeds out every last pound...Chelski clown!

Ross McCormack come back ..quick!!!
The slick strike force of rivals makes me sick

That said, it'll take more than goals to make us tick
The rusty old cogs in midfield need a hand
As for defence..how hard is the game to understand?!
Keep calm, keep it on the floor!
Why is watching Leeds such a chore?!
Same old complaints time and time again like a broken record bore..
The grass isn't always greener ..
Eveyone has an opinion from the bellboy to the cleaner
If Lufc were a car it wouldn't be a brand new Beemer!!

More like a clapped out old banger that's seen better days
No matter what Bates says..
No more excuses! No more delays!
Harvey the dodgy dealer and his men
Need to get out their polished, poison pen
Go on, sign it! get on with it Ken!

The Mighty Whites Give Saints The Frights..

The Kop sang you've got Van Persie we've got Luke Varney
There were cries of Luke Varney scores we're in the sea
He might be the new Barndoor Billy
But you can't fault the industry


That guy offered everything and more
But wait... is that really the score?!
At full time my jaw hit the floor
Saints were really quite poor


Dirty Diouf got in the mix
Byram offered his usual tricks
Was concerned our misses would make us sick
Come on Leeds get a grip! Get that second goal quick!


But it was Saints left all at sea
An entertaining match for once justifying the ticket fee
Should have ben ten nil in honesty
What on earth did they put in the pre match tea?!


Seventeen thousand and two(!) roared on the lads
For once I was glad
That I made the trip out in the cold with Dad
My knees and shoulders are feeling the burn just a tad


Up and down like a jack in a box
Despite a steady stream in the crowd the place began to rock
I didn't once notice the clock
Too busy ducking and diving watching the the scoring opportunities knock


A bigger fish may have swallowed the opportunities that came and went
But we looked hungry, hell bent..
The Saints will repent
After a display more fitting of a Leeds defence


A good night
Another classic cup game is in sight
Fingers crossed tight
That we get a big boy up to Elland Rd next round for a feisty fight! ;)

The Fickleness Of The Fan

The Fickleness Of The Fan - a poem
Dioufy is a sewer rat get out of our club!
A few games later the masses are shrieking sign him up sign him uuuup!

We dont want Colin W...nker he's a git
Decent results ensue and now he's a hit
Paddy Kenny's over the hill and allegedly takes charlie
Some nice saves leaves us thinking hey mate you can come to my party!

We're dirty Leeds who gives a stuff
Action Man Austin, Breakable Bully Brown...go rough 'em up!
Oh no he got sent off what a clown
Well you did scream at him to take him down

The man may go past, the ball may flick by
But not at the same time....sighh Suspensions, injuries, schoolboy errors we do things the hard way
But Nutty Neil likes the gritty display

Get stuck in roll up the sleeves Every fan believes
This may be our time
But not until Bates takes down the for sale sign

Arabs park up the camels and open the purse
Tuesday night hoodoos are no longer a curse


Yeah the fickleness of the fan Means Warnock may not be our man
Come Christmas we may lament
For kicking out an old pensioner we may repent

But no tears will be shed for Bad Santa Bates
Whatever it takes

We will keep the white flag flying high
Reach for the sky

Who knows what's in store
Come on lads keep the ball on the floor!
Concentrate kids and why so serious Tom Lees?
Oi Dioufy stop spitting please!
Keep together
Brave the cold wet windy weather
We are proud...
No pessimists allowed!

So .. What Now?

After the frustrations of cold, wet and leg numbing, mind bending Hull City game to the highs of seeing the Toffees come unstuck it may well be that some of us are feeling a bit of an anti climax following what may have seemed a lucky point based on the first half threatened near mauling. Yet.. second half we realised it wasn't an 8.20pm kick off after all and crikey the supposed Arab owners in (possibly) attendance may be thinking they'd acquired a sinking ship rather than a sleeping giant waiting for a rub of Aladdin's gilt edged credit card shaped lamp ;)Sam Byram played out of his skin, the usual defensive ghosts of (near Christmases...eek) past echoed into the present and Austin was unusually flappable and so the headless chicken act was in full swing despite panto season being a little too early for such comedy fire and chocolate guard jokes. Credit to Paddy Kenny, I was one of those who thought hang on is he just a little too long in the tooth? Is he only here for the tasteless tweets and admittedly funny Paddy Kenny's having a party bring your vodka and your charlie joke which has been adapted for Sam Byram ... no doubting his class on the pitch and perhaps this is a fitting moment to mention Diouf. Yes. Diiirty Diouf. Can't stand the flash sod as a person but as a player there's no doubting yet again Warnock has struck gold amongst some rough diamonds - with a bit of a polish up this guy is mint. He wants the ball, he chases, he harrasses, he gets stuck in, no one likes him, but then doesn't that make him perfect to scare off the opposition and he's not even in a Halloween costume, it comes naturally to him! Byram and the young Poleon have still got lots to learn, whilst I sincerely hope they don't take tips from his lifestyle, they'd do well to learn from his strength and determination on the football pitch. Becchioooooooo Mr Becchio. Maybe it's his slight resemblance to the old Smithy, perhaps its the goals, or perhaps he's just flavour of the month right now, I don't care, I salute you sir! Ross McCormack can hobble along for now, Luciano is the dish of the day and for the present, is serving up the goods. We can moan all we like about Diouf hitting the bar in the dying seconds but that merely deflects from the schoolboy errors a-plenty and rabbit in headlight antics of the first half. Much like West Ham before them, Bolton will be there or thereabouts, in seasoned pros like Kevin Davies, they know how to roll the sleeves up and get the job done. Perhaps with Warnocks oh so calming influence Diouf will do that for us? hmmm.. we'll see. There's more fireworks to come, with or without Bonfire night, I'm sure there'll be more horror shows before Halloween regarding our dastardly (self)destructive defence but we'll get there, have faith, stick with it, celebrate a hard earned point and march on regardless troops! A few words about this takeover business. It's a shame that Ken's arsey attitude is dragging this out longer than the will they won't they of Mary and Matthew in Downton Abbey but I hope it doesn't sink faster than the Titanic. The atmosphere for the recent midweek Tuesday night games were electric and despite the weather and in the game's case, the result, absolutely belting. Everton in particular brought a good crowd and whilst it took ten minutes from the end for them to burst into life, the Gary Speed chants and mutual respect was great - shame about the alleged shenanigans with the police over the "justice for the 96" recriminations however.

Football should be about family, friends, not about fighting and fickleness. It was spinetinglingly fun, engaging, full of banter and felt like the proper good old days again, then you look at the crowds and think hey guys, look what you're missing! When you look at not so cuddly Ken's prices and see that fixtures are on TV, the cynics amongst us just get disheartened. Aside from that there's the car park fee, match programme, tickets, drinks, food...the long journey home on a work/school night. Getting back from the Hull game because of the unprecedented wet weather that week was a drag, stuck in the muddy cold wet car park for some time, zombied and fed up. I love Leeds and would go more, I still have a membership but whilst Ken's milking us like a bottomless pit of a cash cow I don't feel I can twist Dad's arm any more than I am doing. I will however be doing my level best to make the Saints game as there are family members who sympathise with them ha ha ha. Good old fashioned banter. Just hope that whoever comes in, IF they come in, the investment is prudent, long term and keeps us solvent. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, as much as I complain about Bates, you've really got to be careful what you wish for in this life! So onwards and upwards to the Barnsley match, I shan't be there but remember a friendly fixture with them years ago when they were relegated from the Premiership, with fondness.. we took over their ground, quite literally, it was like a Leeds United karaoke session for 90mins. Ahhh those were the days my friends.

50 Shades Of Dirty Leeds

I said to Dad after the game  "Why am I going to the Everton game ?" Dad chuckled "Cos you're a masochist!"
Different manager same old route one football...
Some thoughts.. 
Sam Byram looked like a wide eyed calamity kid amongst brutish tree trunk blokes.
We couldn't cope with their no 27 Elmohamady and their captain Koren was a handful. We simply had no answer for their pace. Perhaps Warnock is too "old school" kicking them off the park and having is not going to cut the mustard with a side that had ex Scumchester talent in the ranks.

Hull were far too tall, their defence looked composed, assured, slick - we fell short of the mark, quite literally! Only time they looked vulnerable was when we went 3-2 and suddenly felt the crowd baying for blood. Great atmosphere but same old same old frailties.
Becchio didn't do much bar penalty, I couldn't see much from the East Stand but it looked a little fortunate. 
We should've kept ball on floor, too many hopeful headers against big sh... houses, Becchio had no Ross McC to hide behind and we had no plan B.
Why 15-20 mins from end we suddenly burst into life as if we'd suddenly realised we were late for the last train of the day? Poleon  looked lively why not on earlier? Hull had some serious pace and brawn; Austin went for it, was committed but had men on him so as the game wore on we were running out of ideas. 

That little bit of investment, Prem quality, could turn a decent hard working Leeds side into a machine - we had moments of promise with Poleon and glimpses of the old resolute Elland Rd fortress via decent saves from Kenny and no nonsense stuff from Austin. Trouble is..the ghosts of Simon Grayson sides past reared it's head with hallmarks of  league one defending.  Varney was "far from all white" whether he made  White and Lees look like panicky headless  chickens or they were all culpable in school boy errors, fact was and is we have got to look at this as a lesson learned from a team that will be there or thereabouts come May.
Little things you'd hope an experienced man like Warnock would sort out - no variation in set play - why not take short corners ? Don't try to walk it in, look around you, the brain got ahead of the feet with Becchio a few times and the opportunity was all too often wasted. 
There were moments where we weren't too bad, Hull have invested and spent well, they were more organised, more mature. The likes of Byram and Poleon, even Tom "Why So Serious?!" Lees are good players they just need to get their heads screwed on, learn from the older players, unfortunately the paper thin squad means some are pressed into action when they're not quite ready and the bench has little to offer in terms of respite, the likes of Brown and Kisnorbo offer passion and professionalism but they couldn't muster up a solid, dependable 90mins in honesty.

Well, we move on, the Tigers may be purring but it wasn't a mauling in the second half, although at times it may well have been. Marching on regardless, let's hope Warnock is a wizard in the loan market..something must be done!

Banter & Balls.. A Poem

Who will be the local hero?
Just one day to go...
Who will land the killer blow?
Will the tricky Tigers roar?
Or are we in for a 'bore' draw ?
Who will hobble off the pitch feeling sore?

Rosenior, Dawson & some (unpronounceable) Sunderland loaner
Are current heroes of a mate who dresses like a bumblebee
Yep , I'm talking about the orange and black of Hull City...
Ripping off 'The King' in their anthem
Come on boys lets get into them..
Pacy wingers? gloriour goals? ha..no problem!
Dirty Leeds will leave a 'calling card'
Dot to dot stud marks 'cos we're well 'ard
Not one will be left unscarred
Cant help falling in love with you?!
Nahhhh you know it's true
That the only true romance is in white yellow and blue!!!

Becchio blows hot and cold
Yet truth be told..
If I may be so bold
I've taken a shine
To our Smithy wannabe Argentine
With no Ross McCormack it's time
For Luciano to step up to the plate
The 3pts are ours to take!
Make no mistake
Our squad is smaller than Posh's main meal
Forget about the on off takeover 'deal'
We need to stick together..get real

Midweek games shouldn't be a curse
Let's not fantasise about Beastly Bates in a hearse
Nor bat our expectant eyelids at some Arab's princely purse
The fans will make a magnificent noise
To help the boys
Now now.. put away the toys
Fantasy footy, Fifa, all very fun
But eyes front lads and lasses on the Elland Rd turf there's a grudge match to be won!
Marching On Together..let's get the job done!

Let's Batter The Codheads!

Looking forward to Hull City tomorrow night, a mate at Dad's work is already full of it after stuffing Millwall at the weekend. I've never felt such a mixed bag of emotions, smug that mucky Millwall got the pasting they deserved, nail bitingly nervous that the Tigers are roaring just when our paper thin squad of misfits, Grandads and youngsters are blowing more hot and cold more indecisively than Arabs in a Russian Roulette face off with Bates...
I love and loathe Tuesday nights in equal measure. Either half empty chilly, dour affairs or electric, full house brilliant banter and goals galore - never seems to be in between.
With McCormack injured the spectre of Simon Graysons downfall looms large...Warnock looks to be forced into the role of reluctant loan arranger. One of the Codhead's picks in the current Hull eleven is a pacy Sunderland player but then again does that say more about the gaps between Championship and even mid table Prem than it does about having a quality squad at your disposal? Look at Leicester. What about the ongoing Beckford saga? Livermore playing for England.... we need to cut past the hype, dross and Bates diva demands and concentrate on our team only. Becchio needs to step up to the plate; good start but can he keep momentum? How will he cope without the service of Ross?Rodolph Austin is a beast but how long before he becomes a Vinnie Jones/Batts hybrid and gets a lengthy suspension? Diiirty Leeds. Oh and someone wind Varney 's stop clock up... that guy is stuck on slo mo! Byram also becoming quite a crowd pleaser but just hope he's not a one season wonder, plenty of games to go...Oh and Tom Lees, nice one on getting into the England U21 set up but one question - Why So...Serious?!
So, for me, the head says tough game, be pleased to grind out a draw on Hull's current form, heart says I am desperate to leave the Codhead fan All Shook Up and Lonesome Tonight ...failing that I'll get him singing his anthem Can't Help Falling In Love... but- With Leeds ;)

A bit about me...random thoughts!

My all time favourite Leeds player

Alan Smith

Favourite memory, so far...

Tough call, I suppose for the atmosphere and the hilarity of the weather it would have to be Lokomotiv Moscow at Elland Road, it poured it down with hailstones at half time a fantastic, electric atmosphere to be part of.

Favourite shirt
The sky blue Puma away kit, very nice!

Who's on your current Leeds shirt?
No one, might get Robbie Rogers on the back just to make Emma jealous!

Favourite chant?
It's a short, silly one but it always cracks me up when they do the whole whoaaaaaaaaaaaaah you .... b... to the goalie,John Smith's advert stylee. Yes I know that's very childish!

Worst moment
On pitch, Leeds getting relegated from the Premiership, off pitch I was pretty freaked out and felt threatened by the Manchester United cup game last season at Elland Road. No need for the glass bottles and disgusting chanting from both sets of "fans"

Ambitions for this season?
Playoffs a minimum but I'd like to see us go up automatically particularly as we really do seem to struggle mentally with play off pressure. We also need to turn Elland Road back into a fortress again. Perhaps when Bates is gone and the prices become more reasonable, not to mention the quality of football (fingers cross) also showing promise (Doncaster at home dear oh dear the only highlight which should have been a lowlight was Diouf's dramatics hmmm!!!!) then people will place their faith in a strong character who's been there done that and knows what he wants. Let's hear it for Neil Warnock's Barmy Army!!

Blog Reloaded - Marching On Regardless!

This message will self destruct in the next ten seconds.....

Only joking!

Whether you're blue over the departure of Barndoor Billy Paynter, still sulking over Snoddy's departure or ticked off about the hokey cokey surrounding the takeover, this blog is going to (hopefully) become a place to reflect, ramble on and raise a few giggles over the ups and downs that is being a supporter of Leeds United.

Will Robbie Rogers make the Kop end roar? Is the takeover a bad joke dragging on longer than a bunch of 'Carry On' films set on repeat? Is Cap'n Birdseye aka Ken Bates cooking his goose good and proper with his dastardly plan to turn LUFC into a corporate cash cow with a penchant for Portsmouth bargain buys that will either be the steal of the season or the punt of a plonker...? Oh and what's with Nasty Norwich and wicked Delia cooking up a Leeds United alternative eleven? So long Lonergan, bye bye Brucie boy, sod off Snoddy and hello Varney, Austin, Paddy Kenny, Norris and co... not too sure if its a bunch of ex Premiership misfits or seasoned pros with something to prove but we'll see!

I will post my rants, ramblings and reflections on the Shrewsbury match, although quite probably and possibly classed as a bit of a professional run out/kick about/tinker-about game it'll be curious to see the new Leeds United up close. There's no doubting Neil has been thwarted, bruised and battered by Old Tightwad's "spending" policies and the will they won't they of the takeover is more tedious than an episode of Doctors and the excuses are becoming no more watertight than the Titanic I'm afraid! In short, it's do or die, time to seal the deal or walk away. They say the grass isn't always greener on the other side but surely anything is better than Bates? I can see where he was going with the corporate side of things, football is increasingly becoming a rich man's sport and a business proposition, it is no longer about the 90mins on the pitch, or indeed the entire match day. The focus particularly at the "bigger" clubs is corporate, entertainment, events, concerts etc, but at what cost to clubs like Leeds whose largely (grassroot level, loyal, at least) supporters probably would rather see Jermaine Beckford than Bon Jovi gracing the turf at Elland Road? How can you make a club sustainable without shortchanging the entertainment and expectation of the one club city with passionate long suffering fans who march on regardless of whether Bates stays or goes.

Lots to consider then.
Don't get the hump about this supposed Arab taking over, not wise to start a "jihad" against Bates either as he'll only stick his bully boy boots in further(!) Trust in Nutty Neil, even if the players look a bit "Who?" "What?!" "Why?!" "Where From?!" and remember, Beckford was a nobody from Wealdstone, Becchio was largely unheard of outside English football...Warnock's a wacky but largely wise old bloke, proper northern salt of the earth type. He may get us up, we may not be able to stay up with him but there's no doubting he's got fire in his belly, hopefully there's no smoke without fire with this takeover and he'll get the backing that he's been waiting ridiculously patiently for.

That's all for now