Its raining cats...cats and cats....

What have I done today??

Cat homechecks
cat dishes
cat photos
cat writeups
cat chat
cat rehomings

oh and I went for lunch with Nana "I haven't seen a soul" Petty. It was alright but she was a bit negative (my god theres a surprise) I enjoyed my chocolate fudge cake dessert though, almost as tasty as a blonde bloke in a suit ;o) and I also felt positive about the amazing response from the Goole Time's cat article - nineteen enquiries and rising!!

We went to a really interesting homecheck in the morning for a woman who seemed like a battleaxe from her pic in the paper and accompanying article - disputing not having a ramp fitted to get her scooter in and out of the house as she has had her leg in a gruesome brace from shattering her ankle and the scooter is her only mode of transport.. so she was doing a Papa and putting the council and the world to rights, as she said at the homecheck "I'm probably their worst nightmare right now!" but she was a decent person and knew everything about fleas, worms, said she didn't mind whether she had a cat or a kitten, whatever we thought, it didn't matter what they looked like or what sex, she just wanted company for her dog who was missing her old cat that had recently died of old age. Very matter of fact but gentle, no nastiness or 'woe is me' just quite straight with it and not afraid to tell you the warts and all details...hence why we were there for longer than anticipated. You do feel like their social worker at times when you homecheck or agree to let someone have a cat, its like therapy for people on their own or going through a rough patch, it makes them feel better and have something to look forward to when theres a cat around it somehow makes things alright when its a rainy or rubbishy day.

It was almost comical the way she told the tales but it made you realise how lonely she was, how trusting she'd been and perhaps expected the world to sort all her problems out in one click of the fingers, but she was a strong person to stick to her guns - not the average local of her area, putting up with the bare minimum or accepting one opinion - Scunthorpe Hospital telling her it was best to amputate her shattered ankle struck a familiar note as my Grandad faced the same fate some years ago. Stubbornness can be a negative thing but it can also make someone stronger and less of a pushover, sometimes it pays to go against the grain. Her ankle may look a mess with the pins stuck right through her foot to the other side, but its a means to an end. I'd agree that I'd rather take a chance with that than have my leg off at barely 60 (she couldn't have been more than that, shes probably only late fifties)

It was like a war and peace lesson in how to talk like a character from an Alan Bennett play almost... chit chat chat... pointed out her grandchildren and how used to animals they were, how shed made peace with her recent ex, the tale of how shed acquired her very very appealing poodle-esque bred dog who was like putty in your hands, rolling over for you and cuddling up to you truly gorgeous.. it was one of those homechecks where you liked the person, but wasn't sure exactly what to think of them, like it was some hippy like haze(!) of an experience.

In other news (I bet you thought I'd gone off on a right old boring tangent there!) we went to see a woman who lives in a not particularly desirable area whos struggling with chronic arthiritis and a blind son who was waiting to go off in an ambulance for his regular kidney dialysis. You really appreciate life even when you get just a snapshot of other people's suffering, pain and struggles, its a timely reminder that life isn't so bad after all and you're not alone in the world with your troubles, we all have mountains to climb of some sort. She was ver sweet and welcoming, we took pictures of her 1yr old silver tabby and 5 yr old ginger boy who was desperate to get out and play but had been kept in for his photo. Thankfully there might be a happy ending with that story as later in the day we did a homecheck near Selby which was like cat heaven, retired woman with a sprawling almost modern dynasty style house in parts, vast fields behind it, posh summer house style shed/outbuildings all geared up for a very very spoilt cat(!) she'd lost her cat aged 14 and was keen on having a pair.
It has been a really productive day. We rehomed Cassie to a nice retired couple who had been rehomed by York RSPCA they spent alot of time looking at all our cats, the husband rather liked Koolak who actually admired her attitude but didn't take her on as he knew certain very long coated cats set off a mild allergy but they were more than happy to take Cassie, very mild mannered, 'cat' people, theyd lost their cat in a freak accident, it had been wandering down the pavement and a farm vehicle went past and part of the machinery came out onto the pavement and knocked the cat down, killing it. All the more tragic since they live in a quiet area surrounded by farms and fields. The two men who adopted Ginger, an elderly cat, a couple of years ago, have taken on two very posh Burmese cats that were waiting to come in (yes theyre partners darhlinks!) they would only take female cats so they fitted the bill..Ginger had died a couple of days ago and they felt so sad and lonely without another cat. They had originally wanted a pair but Ginger wouldn't get on with the cat they paired it with but these had to be homed together. My god...its been amazing the level of purr-fect karma on the cat front!! Roll on the Xmas fair tomorrow..
In non cat news I confess I watched Jeremy Kyle, two episodes of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here but heres the most heinious crime of all!!!!!.....I watched a few minutes of Corrie! Eeek someone check my temperature(!) I also deleted Cassie off the website, typed up a piece on Big Boy (and I'm not talking about Alan Smith ho ho ho very bloody funny Orangina!) and for the last half an hr or so I've been really really really sad muppetish and dedicated and done some exercise - running up and down the stairs, dancing, stretches, working out with the weights and sit ups to various tunes off Napster. Don't think I'll bother watching Im A Celeb . I'm tired and I want to be a bit more alert tomorrow. I was lazy by most people's standards today as I didn't really properly function until about 10 as I didn't get up til gone 9am!!
Until next time folks..

Polish Perlaver and Other Pointless Stresses - who cares I'm going to be in 00-heaven!!

Do you ever have a day where you stress about strange, pointless things! Well I'm stressing about Smithy (don't ask!) I'm stressing because I haven't got much time to go to the gym today (despite going to aerobics last night) and have spent most of the morning stressing about not being able to get the Polish and English Adult Education notices on to one page (again, don't ask!) one minute it all fitted the next minute you looked at print preview and half of it was sliding off..then the phone rang..then Mum turned up...then I forgot which piece was which......... ho de dum!!! washed the cat dishes this morning as usual, cleaned the litter trays, tidied my room a bit, its been okay really I'm just having one of those impatient days.At least I got the whole page finished (eventually) before the end of the week. At least Beryl was kind enough to take all the ironing upstairs and she was quite cheerful talking about how far Kevin had got with moving into his new house and chit chatting about Stuart, Christmas, football, all sorts of chilled mindless stuff to keep me above the sharks water depth of strife(!)
Nothing much planned this afternoon other than tidying up, chatting to Mum and Sharon and trying to remember to root out the mince pie recipe book and thinking what I'm going to wear for the Bond evening tonight. Everyone from the garage crew and Stuart's mate 'I put it to you' Mark Cundy is coming......

RIGHT THATS IT IM GETTING ANNOYED!!!
Anyone else finding that your entry gets published in its entirety then several times over half of the entry disappears then reappears?!
Arrrgh....

Right.
To summarise.

Chinese was ok but food was a little samey and greasy for me.
Bond was excellent. Daniel Craig has an ugly Gordon Ramsay-esque craggy face but loving the more kick ass, realistic (ish) impersonation of 007 What was all the fuss about the shorts? Probably no more than one sock down there Mr! Brilliant fight scenes, bring on the next film!!

Grrr!!

The blogger has been crashing on me all day and bits and pieces have been disappearing as suddenly as Nikki's five seconds of fame arrived and as quickly as her fame disintegrated(!) on Big B...
Not much to say other than its been chucking it down with rain, most of my morning was wasted sorting the blogger out in between more constructive tasks like washing cat dishes, downloading and editing articles for the Adult Education newsletter, putting washing on and scooping out litter trays. Exciting or what?! Watched Jeremy Kyle with Mum, in all the pandemonium about the blogger (I don't know why it annoyed and gripped me so much - sometimes I wake up wanting to pick a fight with myself purely because I haven't finished a task or got the result I wanted - people say I don't take criticism very well but believe me I'm my worst critic at times!) It makes you angry watching Jeremy Kyle sometimes, people wasting their lives on drink, meaningless sex and destructive relationships but I should also be angry with myself for not getting off my backside and doing something other than munching a Brunch Bar and whingeing about these people instead of doing more with my life too...nahhhh!!! that would be too boring - ha ha ha.. A bit of day time brain-mush stuff is good for the soul! Makes you realise your life isn't so bad after all, you havent been told youve got months to live because you've sunk your troubles in several pints or had sex with that many men that you don't even know who the dad to your innocent child is...amongst other mad, salacious gossipy scenarios!!
Afternoon I went to Goole to the Adult Ed centre only to find that Michelle, the tutor, was poorly again so I just had a quick chat with Martin, one of the bosses and sorted out a plan of attack for the newsletter - we're aiming to get something published and distributed by next week so that should keep me out of mischief for a bit. Walked round Goole got more wet than Scott Henshall in the Jungle Boogie challenge(!) and bought liquid eyeliner and some hair spray (I told you this entry would be riveting!! wooooh!!) Perked myself up with a coffee (me having coffee is as rare as my brother missing an episode of Corrie!! - very!) then went home and faffed about, made some tea..
Woohooo...erm...lets sex this entry up a bit erm...Sheffield United want Smithy on loan...my cousin Emma doesn't like staying in the house on her own at night she needs someone with her (her Mum left her with Nana and a not particularly stable nanny at different times in her life and to be honest, alot of her phobias and constant clingy behaviour with boyfriends/lack of friends/lack of confidence in many ways are a result of inconsistent and a lack of parenting, both of a constructive and caring way - now shes older its almost too little too late having a rant at her lack of ambition and knocking her on her appearance or her attitude won't build bridges that weren't even broken in the first place, they were non existent...my Auntie Sandra Simmons is drinking large measures of Whisky every night to cope with her increasingly demanding job...errrrrrrrrr......
What else... I went to aerobics, watched Im A Celeb (most of it..) at Stu's house.. hes a bit narked because Dads made him stay at his house he wants to have his cake and eat it watch our tv and have food here then go back. Mums like oh but until he settles in.... going on about how id feel if it was me moving out but then id make my own food and enjoy doing it. Stu is mr I want things now, moaning about not having sky yet...he'll learn (hopefully)
Anyway must end the entry now because I'm going to see James Bond tomorrow night and have a chinese banquet at Cineworld til late at Cas so better get some shut eye.

Enlightened by a (Purrfect) Estonian and "tails" from a SUPERB Scissor Sisters concert

In an era where we are obsessed by appearance and capitvated by the media spin that is TV and scandal rags, it is nice to balance out the amusing but absurd stereotype of Borat with a more realistic, heart warming depiction of immigrants. We went to a homecheck in an undesirable area of our town fully expecting a scruffy incoherent uneducated confused woman with boxes and mess everywhere. In fact, it was the complete opposite. Hard working, polite, very keen to learn, had bought the house and furnished it very nicely - it looked like an immaculate cosy little show home. There are plenty of British/English people out there who don't lift a finger to the hoover cupboard or to the telephone to ring the job centre. The broken English and Polish sweets were the only giveaways of her nationality. Her daughter was very attentive and patient and commendably, could speak both Estonian (which apparently is close to Polish) and English with confidence. Puts us Brits to shame, its no wonder we've started to teach another language in Primary schools, other Europeans have been doing so for years.Monica had had cats with her parents back at home and wanted a kitten for her daughter. She asked lots of questions, was keen to buy a book on cats, was genuinely as enlightened about looking after a cute ball of fluff as we were learning about the more positive encouraging face of immigration. Smiley, cheerful, chatty and inquisitive, language was no barrier as her gentle nature and welcoming smile and the quiet but sweet patient daughter made us float in some kind of bizarre dream land at times. She understood about flea treatment, she was happy about neutering, she even explained that her daughter had wanted a dog but she said no as it wouldn't be kind as there was very little grass outside. Again, so many British/English people tie up their dogs and let them yap and howl for hours on end tied up in the rain, snow and hail on a patch of land - if theyre unlucky, just concrete. So its safe to say I learned not to judge a book by its cover, as Mum nearly didn't do the homecheck for those precise reasons. She had already put a cat flap in, she read the leaflet and asked questions about what each bit meant, agreed that she was going to take out pet insurance, everything was just so right, and to think we would have missed out on a brilliant home just because of her nationality and where she lived. There might be a few clueless waster ones out there in our town, but theres plenty of honest hard working interesting "foreigners" that made me want to know more.
The Scissor Sisters concert was like gay pride!!! loads of bizarre outfits. Dad got a bit worried looking at a bloke/woman/tranny/it/whatever in a kinky policeman's outfit following the blokes into the loos!!!! it takes alot to impress dad but he thought it was a very good concert and i managed to get him out of his seat and tapping his toes. it was so funny! people were staring at my bright orange boa and ,my big red hat it was great im bizarre in some settings i lap up attention but when it comes to a certain peroxide haired codfish lipped bloke i shy away!! why???? im quite confident really!!!! silly me!!! Highlights? Jake Shears doing a dirty pole dancing routine near us, bumping and grinding with Anna Matronic (Jake not us!! - dirty minded people!) I couldn't pick out a single track that I liked the most, it was all absolutely mindblowing, it was like going to God's Disco - it was camptastic fun, great powerful performances, brilliant vocals, everyone was dancing their bums off you never wanted to sit down or bother about how many blisters or aches and pains you'd be feeling the next day! I'd go through it all again. Wonderful experience...Awesome!!

Yay!

I've had my Leeds United rant published on www.sportingo.com and so far it has had over a thousand hits with an entry on google.com I'm shocked. It only went online this morning. It was borne out of alot of frustration and despair - sadness that there was no way Alan Smith would be returning any time soon (if ever) and anger that the players lacked quite a few pieces of vertebrae necessary to get out of the dreaded drop zone. So I feel quite chilled and pleasantly suprised. I must write more often!
Check out my article on www.sportingo.com and click on Football.
In the meanwhile check out another poem I wrote some time ago. I feel this reflects my mood today - I'm slowly teasing out the old bits of confidence and creativity out of a shattered heart of glass..
Thought you guys would find it amusing. I think writing can be very therapeutic and exorcises alot of demons that would not necessarily be laid to rest by just talking about things to people.

I Am Strong

The sun is beating down on my face
My brain is definitely in a different place
Sometimes I feel like I'm from out of space
Suffocated
Dislocated
Frustrated
Give me romance
Give me a chance
I'm in a trance
Has he got a bird
Whats that rumour I overheard
On the internet again...what a nerd
Trawling for scandal
Oh this is just too much for me to handle
My sanity slipping off the cliff..dangle dangle
Waiting for it to crash
My heart's about to smash
Alcohol doesn't cure it - whats with going on the lash?
Bored as f*ck
How do I look?
Got to finish that Jeffrey Archer book
Squeezed into size twenty four jeans
Should be full of beans
Most women havent been this small since their teens
Wasting away
Should go out and play
Not bother what people say
I am strong
Whatever they think I am - they are wrong
The days are long
The nights are longer
I'm getting stronger
Must go for a wander
Cleanse my soul
Fill this gaping hole
Did you know I can dance on a pole?
Striving hard
I'm such a card
Was such a stalker at footy - how come I wasn't barred?
I'm fit and I don't know it
I'm smiling inside but I can't quite show it
Sometimes I feel sh*t
But I'm too scared to be me
Set me free
Oh my god there goes my knee
I have strength I just have to dig it out
I'm not a lager lout
I'm not a desperate wannabe deserving a clout
I'm not a plain Jane
I'm scared of planes.......
Am I insane????
I am strong now
I'm going to make people go 'wow'
I'm not going to be a miserable c*w
There are people out there who care
The truth is out there
Stop me if you dare
I'm going to kick ass
I'm not a shy lass
I'm going to bring the house down shatter that glass
I am strong today
I am strong everyday
I am strong in every way.

What else is new today? In French I learnt my numbers from twenty to twenty nine, ask and say whether I was married divorced separated or single, whether I had any children.. its quite relaxed and its good to get out of the house and do something constructive and stimulating. I'm picking it up surprisingly quickly but I think not having been out of education long helps.
My knees make me feel like an eighty year old, choir was quite good although I've still got to master the art of ignoring all the blue rinse and john major look a likes brigade and concentrating on the image of a blonde bloke smothered in chips (oi who said yuck?!) Joking aside, its quite nice chit chatting with people about the X Factor, gossip, jobs, this and that, whilst learning and honing a new skill or two. I am still a bit nervous about participating in the Christmas Concert at the local church, theres quite a few new pieces to learn and being a soprano, I stand at the front, which to be fair, I coped with ok at the Summer Fair but the Xmas one is the "big one" in the village. I wish I could be as confident offline as I am online about myself!!!! Its the age old thing, I can walk the walk but struggle with talking the talk at times....

Its been a long time

Sorry I haven't been on here very much. Its been a bit of a rubbish year. My favourite player Alan Smith broke his leg, my cousin died (who was more like a best friend) my grandad passed away and Leeds are as much use as a chocolate fireguard (just for a change)
I would just like to say to anyone who is reading this - life is for living, get out there, enjoy every moment, good and bad, for it happens for a reason even if it doesn't make sense at the time - it makes you stronger, makes you (hopefully wiser) and more appreciative of every single second, every single day, every waking moment.
This really sums up my life!

Is my life always going to be smelly trays and dirty dishes?
Oi genie wherever u r come and grant me a couple of wishes
I don't have many
Want to know my thoughts? I wouldn't waste a penny...
Pretty predictable its the same thing
Some people think hes gay some people say hes ming
Some like him cos hes loaded
Ay up whats that downstairs it looks like a gun - my god my head just exploded!!!
Ahem cough cough I don't know what to say
I can't perv at pics all day
The truth is I'm lonely and bored
Its about time I scored
And I'm not talking about the football pitch
Ooh get me the horny little bitch
Versace and Armani makes me feel good
So does chips, chocolate pud
But what makes me really really really high
(God I could eat him in a pie)
Is Fish Gob Fool
Mr Banana hair you make me despair - don't make me drooooooooool!
Seriously folks this isn't a crush
Lets not beat about the bush
I need a fix now!
I'm a miserable cow!!!
Starbucks coffee with one generous helping of blonde bloke is the cure
How much more do I have to endure?

On the positive side, I've been learning french for the last month and a bit, its been really refreshing and interesting, meeting new people, having fun, learning something completely new. I am piloting a newsletter for the local adult eduation, for whom I work for on a voluntary basis, shadowing the tutor in the literacy support lessons. Its quite rewarding actually and I've forged really touching relationships with the people I help. Everyone is so grateful and caring its good to help people it also helps you to realise that although people are gone, theres no reason to mope, theres plenty of people in the world that are suffering or struggling with their daily lives and need people with the strength of steel and hearts of gold to reach out to them. I don't think I'm Mother Teresa nor am I the Angel Gabriel, I'm just a fun loving girl who enjoys socialising, sharing my love of life.
One of the ladies on the literacy course is like Vicky Pollard rolled into a kids cartoon character. Demanding, fussy, impatient, but terribly funny and very sweet. Her naughty behaviour - "Michelle can you get me ..." shouting over the tutor as she gently explains a task to another student and "I'm too tired" every five seconds to grab the sympathy vote, coupled with the now legendary "I'm too warm can you open the window" five minutes or so later "I'm too cold!!!!" You really couldn't make it up. More on that another time..
I have started to write for www.sportingo.com hopefully my article on Leeds United will get published very shortly. The football fans may also be aware of my rantings on www.football365.com as I am constantly referred to as "Smithy's Biggest Fan"
What else can I tell you? Painface aka Stuart is moving out of the family home (yay!! and yes I DO mean that!) so thats been quite a lengthy (and ongoing!) project.. I'm going to see the Scissor Sisters with Dad on Tuesday (still trying to convince him to wear a nice pink boa for the gig! it'd be great!!) I spend way too much time at the weekend watching TV - my brain gets mushier than mushy peas with the X Factor (hands up who thinks Louis vs Simon is becoming like a panto farce?!) Strictly Come Dancing (Tess love, acquire Trinny & Susannah's number before next week and sort your sorry wardrobe out!!!! your boobs look like spaniels ears and your hourglass figure looks more like happy meals paradise all too often!) Robin Hood (Why does Robin remind me of Darren Fletcher????? Scary!!) and of course I'm now hooked on I'm A Celeb Get Me Out of Here (Geezer Gaffney - I thought you were just a pondlife scourge of page three perv but you've gone up in my estimations! telly gold within moments of you starting that trial! fantastic!!!) Oh and I should mention I went to see the AWESOME Robbie Williams at Roundhay Park. Absolutely mindblowing. Hes a real mess off stage but on stage what an enigma, I'd go through the cattlemarket situation of being shoved and jolted through the gates and quished like a leathery sweaty cheese sarnie on the floor my knees creaking with pain it was absolutely shattering but an experience I'll never forget.
Watch this space, I'll try and make a conscious effort to record my thoughts a little more often. Thanks for reading